Away for weeks

Last night I got back from a two week vacation in the USA preceded by five days of vacation in the Swiss Alps. The only thing I can complain about is that I'm jet lagged from the traveling. Everything else was great.

I'm two disorganized to write a complete record of all the things I did even though it would be a nice way to preserve all my experiences. I'll just say that I finally got better at snow boarding. Swimming at Spieker pool is great. Colin is hot. Mexican food and Sushi are my favorite things to eat. My mom called Colin to get in touch with me. I really miss NM and I still think the Jemez mountains are beautiful. However, I'm not sure that I could ever live back in NM, especially Los Alamos. Wearing glasses sucks but I can see better and my eyes don't appear to get tired when I read for extended times. Unfortunately, I didn't get to surf while I was in CA due to bad weather and lack of time.

I had a long talk with Colin about our relationship. It's so hard being apart but everything is great when we are together. I don't know how we manage to live thousands of miles from each other. I told him that I sometimes struggle with being in a relationship. Do I want to be single or with him?

Being back in Zurich is strange. I kind of forgot what city I was in last night and again this morning. All this traveling left me confused about my location. At least the snow has melted and it looks like spring is here in Switzerland. Things are getting green and I wore a t-shirt outside this afternoon.

I always feel much more inspired to write about my strange feelings and thoughts while I'm away from the computer. Now that I'm writing my blog I just feel blah, like I'm babbling on about nothing important.....

Offense Remarks

Sometimes I think I offend my co-workers or just people in general because I mis-speak or do not articulate accurately what I intend. I actually attribute the problem to my sarcasm, which others do not always get, or see as funny. I should really try and be more careful about it!

For example, today we were discussing politics at lunch (first mistake). I don't know how we got on the subject of North Korea, but it came up some how. Now, most of us don't even know enough about the details to be arguing with each other about the problems but we do anyway (second mistake). Then, someone makes a comment which basically amounts to an anti-American remark and I get a little defensive. I know that I don't always agree with US policies but I don't think my co-worker knows anything about what they are saying. So I sound like I'm defending the US when I really feel like I'm just clarifying the issues from America's point of view (third mistake, I should just let it drop).

I should be diplomatic about it but when a Swiss starts to tell me how the US policies are screwed up and they don't know what they are talking about it kind of makes me defensive. I mean, come on, when was the last time Switzerland has conducted international diplomacy? They're suppose to be neutral!

We then move on to discuss the middle east (fourth mistake!). I mention that I read about Lebanon today and I was not aware of how screwed up things were between Lebanon and Syria. Well, my coworkers started to give me their two-cents worth on Lebanon and Iraq and Israel. Then, I made some comment that I don't want the USA to be the world's policemen but many people have regarded the US as just that for a long time (fifth mistake). They jumped on me and said the US is not the world's policeman, which I agreed with, we shouldn't be. They said the UN is the policeman. But, I pointed out, the UN does nothing! It's the USA that usually does things and....well you can see that it got out of control because none of us are really educated to discuss who should be the police man of the world versus who actually is.

I think the initial point I was trying to make, however, was I was sort of playing the devil's advocate and musing about the US having apparently bad international policies but they interpreted my behavior as too nationalistic or something.

Humm....maybe we should stick to the weather.

t-minus 8 days

Well, it's been a week since I posted last. Again, I question my intentions for starting a blog. I suppose my doubt is very common for beginner bloggers but I don't know for sure since I hardly read other blogs!

I would like to use this blog as a record for the past week. Also, I will include my future plans for the next couple of weeks because I may be away from my blog during this time.

So, on the job/work front, nothing new or exciting has happened. The position at UCLA did not come through. Nor have I heard anything from companies or faculty in the Bay Area. However, I did apply for another position at UCSB, which looks promising. I would love to live near the ocean again but being five hours from Colin by car is less than ideal...but it's better than 18 hours by plane!

This past week I saw the Donnas at Rota Fabrik. I never heard of the Donnas until about a month ago. They are a California band of four women in the mid twenties. Apparently, they went to the other high school in Palo Alto, which Colin's step brothers attended. Their songs were tacky and shallow. The titles of two songs I remember where "Who invited you?" and "Get out of my way" or something like that. They seemed to be a perfect band for Chico State.

The club, Rota Fabrik, was pretty rough for Zurich. It wasn't your typical, well-groomed Swiss crowd. I always like to see crowds like that which are not so up tight. Nicole was DJing before and after the band. She was the best part of the night and the reason why I went to the show.

Last night I went swimming again and then out with some of the guys from the team. It was pretty uneventful and I got to bed by 1AM. The rest of the week was similarly plain. I feel like I have lots of work to do but just not enough time! I made a list of reactions to do, which helps me get it all done.

Jo and Ev come tomorrow for a visit. I'll meet them at the airport and entertain them until I send them to Bern to meet Cathy and Barbara. I join them all again on Friday for a weekend in Zuoz. Jo, Ev, and Barbara are doing this cross country ski race next Sunday. I leave for the USA on the following Monday for two weeks.

I'm really excited to go back to California and see Colin. It's be fuckin' hard lately! We argue about being together but living so far apart. Sometimes we both feel like we are holding each other back from enjoying life but I know I don't want to be with any one else. It just sucks. I am trying to get back to California but I have to have a job first. He understands this but it's just so hard trying to talk with each other over the phone and understand things. It will be better when I can see him again.

We are going to fly to NM for a couple of days while I'm in the USA. This will be hard because of my parents. I won't see them, only Amy and Ian and my friends. But I'm happy to bring Colin back to NM with me to show him where I grew up.